I feel an unusual calm today. This is quite surprising and worrying at the same time. About 5 hours before I was getting ready for a presentation, but the friken words just won’t stick to my mind. I had spent the better part of my 24 hrs prior to that working in preparing the presentation. It’s not that I’m this hard working guy, but it was just that I enjoyed preparing the PPT (power point presentation) on my latest addiction – Facebook..!!
‘On anything below the Sun, our teacher had told us’. I had almost forgotten about it and was reminded only a day before the actual screening of PPT’s. It’s another story that we got some more time because the thing got postponed and we had a weekend to complete our PPT’s. I’m studying in a B-School, so what our teacher actually meant was ‘Anything under the sun that has a bottom line and a top line!’
So, as I was walking back home with the knowledge of the postponed dates of our PPT screenings and naturally thinking about the topic for our presentation. I just heard someone whisper on my ear, a heavenly voice, “facebook”. I looked around; no one was near apart from the funny teeth dog that roams around in our street. That’s when I realized that no one’s going to buy this holy ‘whispering crap’, I wonder why it’s still on TV..! Anyways, facebook was an obvious choice.
1. It was under the sun
2. It had a bottom line and a top line
3. I was addicted to it. (‘was’-------- for 2 days now)
4. I needed a reason to be online on facebook and not feel guilty about it.
My mum’s astrologer told her that her only son will get results if he works hard, he’s not very lucky with lotteries and won’t receive much favour’s, but he will get results if he works hard.
Well I say, “He can touch my balls”, because I worked the whole day yesterday on the PPT and guess what we don’t get to present it. As always, we were the last group to present and the faculty had no time left for our presentation. What they actually meant was that they were going to puke out their brains if they saw any more crap PPT’s on Corporate Governance or Rural Marketing or Micro Finance or whatever the fuck you get off on.
So, my analysis of facebook as a major catalyst of Online Social Activism and Philanthropy didn’t receive any eye balls, apart from two of mine...eye ‘ball’s’ I mean, Friken Perverts..!!
And, as to why I’m feeling calm, I thought I could figure it out by the time I finished with this write up but your guess is as good as mine. I just don’t have a Friken Clue, but I certainly don’t feel calm anymore.
Proof Q.E.D.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Excerpts from my journal - 1
7th January 2009 (10:30-11:30 P.M.) (My room)
I woke up to a disturbing feeling, a realization of sorts, about the utter disregard I've meted out to my academics these past couple of months. I'm playing out the worst case scenarios' on my mind so that I may be freaked out into settling down with my books at long last. Apart from that, one thing I have been waking up to constantly for the past 3 days is a sore throat and a running nose. I skipped classes today, I intend to study. We had Accounts in the morning, but since I'm already taking extra help for Accounts I decided on skipping it. I didn't have to convince myself much about missing the second class - Management Skills and Ethos, not because of the subject but rather due to the lecturer. A person with no knowledge of what the lec. was teaching would be forgiven to think that we were having a class on 'Prof. P.K.Ghosh's' (name changed for obvious reasons) friken Biography'.
I treated myself to 'New year Presents' the other day. Apart from the thing I'm writing on, I bought a book/novel by DBC Pierre. It's his second novel after 'Vernon God Little', which was one of my favorite reads - and maybe it won the 'The Man - Booker Prize'. I haven't finished the book, per se, but it's not half as good as the previous one. I guess its because of the British humor and slang its based on, I'm just getting exposed to it. Anyways, I hope it gets better because I shelled out quite a bit for it.
I have a mind to finish at least one lousy topic in Economics today, 'Demand Theory'. I packed up my lap top today, I've been glued to it like a friken maggot to a corpse. I barely get time to do anything, staring at the screen for hours like a douche bag. I've really become one these days. My growth is heavily biased towards horizontal growth and that too comprised of fat and bile and God knows what - owing to the amount of junk food I consume. Add to that my utter lack of physical toil, all perfectly topped up by my alarmingly low motivation to change things. Presently I can feel a part of that bile on the very edges of my lower cheeks conjunction point. So I'm going to have to call it a page (day). Nature calls…You just don't have a choice do you.
Great Expectations
Normally, What I do when I write stuff is to provide a brief recap, should I say, of what's been going on and then carry it on from there. But I'm going to skip it this time, firstly because this is a new year and plus I really don’t want to dwell on the past anymore. What's done is done…as they say.
The thing about life, forgive me if I sound rhetorical, is it's always moving, I mean like it never stops. Unlike people, especially me, who stop all the time. I'm like always running after life, there's always things to do, deadlines to meet, improvements to be done. Sometimes I feel my life is becoming like the pursuit of this ever moving bright light, and moreover my speed of pursuit is just enough to keep me within sights but never really 'there'. And this past year I feel myself slowing down to a point that the light is but a faint memory of illumination on my mind. I'm losing sight, I'm losing focus and in short I'm losing the reins to my life.
Maybe it’s the theory of causation, that states that every thing around us has to have a cause or a reason for its existence, or maybe just like that; but people (I'm being general here, so all you extraordinary special cases can go screw yourself, quite literally if that’s flexibly possible) 'generally' look for reasons to do things, the reasons could be anything , from money to little money to more money, a lot of times (esp. for guys)to get a good fuck, occasionally for self improvement, to more frequently than you would like to admit 'revenge', often to get a high, or uncontrollably to gastronomical or urological pressures, I think you get the point now. And every once in a year (at the beginning of it to be more precise), laymen like us find a reason to begin afresh, start off on a new slate with an armory of resolutions (one never tends to keep). It could be one of the reasons why we have surprisingly less no. of murders and rapes and other heinous crimes (like farting in public) in the first 3 months of a year compared to the other 9. Statistics show that even though most of us break every single resolution we make on that night of drunken madness, almost all of us try to make an effort to hang on to it for a certain period of time before spring comes up and people start shooting each other again. P.S. The above quoted statistics are entirely fictional and "bear no resemblance to any reality whatsoever"…any coincidence is entirely due to my "Intelligence" ;).
I know that a simple "I'm trying to make a new beginning in my life this year" would have sufficed for all the horse shit I poured above, but I guess writing is like playing cards - you tend to get more confident and secure once you have a certain amount of cash in your kitty or for that matter you feel good after you've already written a few hundred words. One of the main reasons I want a new beginning is because I can no longer see that bright light I mentioned about at the beginning, and "I'm losing control of my life". And as much as I hate to admit it, the main reason I'm going to end this thing here is that I'm running out of things to write. So I'll get myself armed with a few resolutions (which I know I'm going to break…after spring comes up) and pop up some other time.
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